Separated again for another 2 months.
We spend our time in Haiti as a family for 3 months and the time flew just like the airplane that I am now watching my husband depart in. Taking us far away from one another once again.
So much I learned over these past months.
So much about myself, so much about us. Yet so very little about Haiti. I can't single handily save Haiti, our family can't save Haiti. It's hard to look at such a beautiful country fill with such beautiful people knowing that life there is so hard, life there is uncomfortable, nothing about life there is convenient. Nothing comes easy. I talk to young people with big dreams and a drive to reach those dreams whatever it takes. And I know that with the unemployment rate at 75% many of those dreams will be shattered. And I know that the cost of living vs the money that can be made can quickly crush a person's drive once reality sets in. I ache for them. My whole body aches for them and tears stream down my cheeks and I ask God one more time, "Lord, what can I do?" "What on earth can I possibly do for them?" And yet, that is where God is planting us. And that is where my heart continues to grow.
I love my husband.
I say that in a new meaningful way. This experience has done something in me that I thought impossible. I trust and respect my husband. Seems like that's the way things should be huh? Well it wasn't for me. I like to have control and at times I feel that I know best. Yes I know what the Bible says. I've studied all those scriptures and pretended to live in them for a lot of years. Fake it til ya make it! Isn't that a good motto? Well, my husband's obedience to God is what transformed my heart. His obedience while my heart doubted, his heart never wavered. His faith strong, while mine was being tested. We are finally becoming aligned the way God intended us... as heirs together of the grace of life. I love my husband.
So where are we now. The kids and I are in NY and Marshall in Haiti until Sept. Then we go back. This time back has been strange. Hard to adjust. I'm sure as years go by it will become stranger and stranger. But I can't predict the future that's for sure. I don't know how long I will be anywhere. Any one of us can be called home at any moment. Live today what today has in store, being watchful and ready.
But as of right now I have one foot in NY and a whole heart in Haiti.
