Dear Lord,

Sometimes it's hard to live in today, especially for a dreamer like me.

but I know

that I need to

live for today.

So even when the day seems meaningless, help me to see an opportunity in each moment.

Even when there seems to be little hope surrounding me,

help me to remember there is always hope in You.

Even when life makes no sense remind me that each time you allow me to take a breath there is purpose in that moment.

And help me to be thankful...

even in frustration.

Help me to be content...

in times of restlessness.

Help me to use this time of stillness...

to draw ever closer to You.

May I just close my eyes, lie back into Your arms and be still, and quiet and small....

Like a newborn infant at rest in it's mother's arms, swaddled, full, quiet, content. Nothing to fear, not a worry, not a need or a care, just quietly, sweetly content. LOVED. adored. 

Letting it all hang out

I don't know whether to LAUGH, scream, CRY, or hide.
                                      but.....
I....do. think. it's 
time.
to. 
vent.

Sigh...

where to start?                                         where do I begin?       which problem do I vomit out?  or do I just expose them all?

The staff.
XXXX... asks me for money almost daily, like I am an atm that has an endless supply of money that I must acquire freely with my white skin. Yet he never shows up to work on time...ever. Not to mention he is like having a 12yr old boy around that you have to repeat yourself to and still doesn't do what you've asked. We have 69 staff, he's just one example. 
My children.
Have not been outside of the brick walls that surround us since we got here 8. days. ago. and we wont have a team come in for another. 31. days. It breaks my heart. lonely. no friends. no freedom. yet they have kept silent. no complaints. still breaks my heart. 
My church.
Where are you? no encouragement. need to support our missionaries. lesson learned.
The history.
Too many hands have traded place. No commitment. Empty promises. Cause people to beg. expect. and be lazy. 
This place.
Is there hope at Hope House? is there hope for Haiti?